That's intense
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
