There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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