is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
