do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
