i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
