you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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