Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize