we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
