This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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