5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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