My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
