Got a toothbrush?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Come on in and take your pants off
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