champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My dick has a subreddit
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize