2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
