Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
