i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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