I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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