Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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