So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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