Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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