We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I looked at my own cervix.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize