Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
