it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
