Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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