I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize