Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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