Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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