Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
