If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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