The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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