I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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