I love black thongs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
