Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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