Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
