mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
