Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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