Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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