Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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