hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
