I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
