Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
