Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
