Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize