it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
