I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
