Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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