The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
