you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
