We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
