the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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