I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
