If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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