Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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