I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
