Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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