Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
