so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
