If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
