It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
