is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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