handjob tips. give me some.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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