I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he thought i was a dude.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
