I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
