I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
