Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize