ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
