great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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