things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
