youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
