i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
