Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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