eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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