on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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