That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
